Four Quarters Short of a Dollar
by HardyBoyz4Eva
Summary: Slash. Phil/Adam. One-Sided Phil/AJ. Phil really can't stand AJ Lee, but sometimes... her insanity can have a positive outcome. One-Shot. Full List of Warnings Inside! Please Review!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone.  
**Rated:** M  
**Warning(s):** Slash, Het, AJ Bashing, etc.

* * *

Phil Brooks most certainly did _not_ like AJ Lee.

Not that the pint-sized Diva could take a hint. Whether it was the way he subtly turned his head away when she tried to kiss him, or the very obvious ring on his left hand, she refused to accept the blatantly obvious. And Phil wasn't about to whack her over the head with it, either. She had just been through an awful, public break-up with Daniel Bryan – he understood that. Phil may have been the rebellious voice of the WWE, but he wasn't an ass.

He might not have been one-hundred percent comfortable with the way she hung off of his arm or skipped around the ring during matches, but he didn't say anything about it. It was storyline, after all, and he had been foolish enough to think that she wouldn't get attached. Foolish, yes. That was the word for what he was. Crazy. That was the word that described AJ Lee to a tee. Perfectly dysfunctional, she was a whole universe of crazy in one tiny body.

Of course, he didn't realize that AJ _had_ become attached until it was too late. Like a bad-luck charm, she had caused his luck as champion to turn and had forced him into three back-to-back matches with Daniel Bryan. And when he finally told her that he didn't want her to come down to ringside (using some bull that it wasn't safe, because it was the only halfway decent excuse he could think of) and had ended up getting put through a table for his efforts.

He slammed his fist into the wall next to the tiny Diva's head, watching her demented smirk as it spread across her face. "What the hell were you thinking, AJ? Or, better yet, were you even thinking at all?"

AJ laughed. It echoed creepily in the sudden silence of the hallway. "Oh, I was thinking, Phil. I've been thinking a lot recently. And I've come to the conclusion that you haven't been treating me the way I deserve to be treated."

"What?" Phil managed to look confused and infuriated at the same time. "I've treated you like a fucking Queen! I told you to stay back here so you wouldn't get hurt, and look what it got me!" He motioned to his battered body.

"I loved you, Phil." AJ narrowed her chocolate brown eyes at him, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"You don't love me, AJ. You _think_ you love me because you _want_ to love me. You really love Daniel Bryan -,"

Before he could finish, she swiped at his mouth. "Don't say his name!"

Phil rolled his eyes. "Okay, kiddo. I want you to listen to me right now. I'm gonna say it as clearly as I can. I don't love you. I don't want you. I have a husband – I'm _gay_. And, frankly, so is Daniel."

Tears bubbled in her eyes, crystalizing on her lashes. "You're lying to me!"

"Why would I lie about that?" Phil shrugged. He showed her the ring on his finger. "I've been married to Adam for five years. And your crazy little self isn't gonna change that."

Suddenly, she went feral. "I'm not _crazy_!" It was no secret that she detested that word.

Phil stepped out of the way just in time to avoid her hand swinging out to hit him in the face. He didn't have time for this. She had started to scream, but he could barely hear her. He took a few steps back and just watched her, amazed at how much energy was packed into her tiny little body. Tears were streaking down her face and she was stomping her feet, her hands balled into fists. She really was putting on a show.

And then, finally, she slid down the wall and hooked her arms around her knees, sobbing into her arms. Phil contemplated comforting her, but then remembered the one time that he _had_ tried to do so, and she had latched onto him like a fucking piranha. Never again. At that moment, as if to save him from that horrid fate, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the caller ID. It was Adam.

He answered it. "Hey, babe."

_"You know, I'm getting kinda tired of making dinner arrangements for the two of us, only to have you not show up. You were supposed to be a half-hour ago."_ Adam said.

Phil looked at the clock, realizing that what Adam had said was true. "Shit.. I'm sorry, babe. I just got caught up with something at the arena. It's nothing. I'll be there in ten minutes."

AJ was suddenly beside him, not a hint of tears in her eyes. "Who are you on the phone with?"

_"Who's that?"_ Adam asked, his tone flecked with annoyance.

"It's nobody, babe, don't worry about it. Just don't leave, okay? I'll be back at the hotel in ten."

AJ tapped his shoulder. She didn't like being ignored. "Who's on the phone, Phil?"

"None of your business, AJ. Back off, okay?" He turned his attention back to the phone. "You still there, baby?"

_"Look, you're obviously too busy to finish this conversation. And I'm really not in the mood to deal with your shit right now. Come home when you actually have time for me, huh?"_

Before Phil could answer, Adam hung up on him. Phil clenched the phone in his hand, feeling his anger for AJ swell. She was just determined to ruin what he had with Adam. Adam had been his life for five years and he wasn't about to throw that away for a Diva that was, as Kaitlin had so eloquently put it, 'four quarters short of a dollar'. AJ only stared at him, waiting for an answer. But Phil, disgusted, didn't even spare her a moment of time.

* * *

"Oh, so you finally decided to come home." Adam shot his husband an annoyed look.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I don't even know what to say." Phil shrugged, tossing his bag onto the chair. "She's become obsessed with this storyline and I don't know how many times I can tell her that _I'm not interested_."

There was a knock on the door. Adam inclined his head toward it, not bothering to look at Phil. "It looks like your little ray of sunshine followed you home. Go ahead. Answer it."

Phil rolled his eyes, turning around and opening the door. "What?"

"Phil, I'm so glad that I caught you! You ran off during our conversation and I just wanted -,"

Adam cut her off, rising out of the chair and grabbing his mug of coffee. "Come to bed once you're done with her." He shot her a distrustful look, before callously bitching, "And try not to make too much noise."

Phil scowled, hating the way it only seemed to make her smile grow wider. "Why are you even here?"

"Like I told you, you ran off before we could finish our conversation." She smirked. "Now _you're_ the one that's not listening, Phil."

"Leave. _Now_." Phil hissed, ready to just slam the door closed in her face.

"You're so _cruel_, Philly. I came all this way to see you, just to talk with you, so we could spend time _one-on-one_." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You can't just send me off like this."

"Oh, I can't?" Phil raised an eyebrow, watching as she nodded enthusiastically. "Watch me."

And, with that, he slammed the door closed in her face. He could hear her throwing a fit in the hallway, no doubt attracting the attention of other WWE wrestlers and the other folk alike. Phil locked the door, before he turned back, leaving AJ to have her fit. He still had to make up for missing dinner with his husband. Even if Adam didn't even want to look at him…

As Phil approached the bed, he heard the distinctive low rumble of Adam's favorite vibe. He stared at Adam, who was stretched out on the bed, his black, skull-covered dildo sliding in and out of his ass. Phil couldn't force his eyes away. However, he could tell that Adam was still fuming over the whole situation with AJ. He climbed onto the foot of the bed, kicking his shoes off with ease. Adam leveled him with a glare.

"You think that you deserve this?" Adam motioned to his body with his free hand, eyes rolling back and a moan trailing from his lips when the vibe brushed over his prostate.

"No… I think that you should punish me for missing our dinner date." Phil was practically salivating, staring down at Adam's delectable body. He wanted to be inside of him, but he knew that wouldn't come tonight.

"You want a punishment?" Adam asked, humming softly as he drew the vibe out and teased it over his tongue.

_"Yes…"_ Phil practically purred. Adam always gave the most tantalizing punishments.

Adam inclined his head to his swollen, aching cock. "Suck me off."

It was more of a punishment to his pride than it was to his sex drive. Phil rarely gave head, as he didn't have the best gag reflex and frankly… the whole idea just disturbed him. But with Adam… something about Adam was different. He loved the feeling of his boy's cock in his mouth. Slowly, he watched as Adam stretched himself out, offering his cock up as a silent peace offering. Phil didn't hesitate.

He took Adam's cock in his hand, stroking it hard and fast. Adam writhed beneath him, flowering so _beautifully_. He opened his mouth, drawing only the head into his mouth. Gently, he raked his teeth over the slit. Moans fell heavily from the boy's mouth as Phil fondled his balls, drawing his mouth up and down in rapid succession. Adam continued to work the vibe in and out of his hot, tight channel, needing… _more_…

Slowly, he started to roll Adam's balls in his hand, the other tracing soothing motions over Adam's belly. Finally, Adam stuffed the vibe up as far as it could go without causing internal harm, feeling the head pound into his prostate. Finally, with a blinding array of color dancing before his eyes, he came. Phil sucked up every last drop, savoring the taste of it as it slid down his throat. Finally, he pulled off with a wet _pop_.

"That was… fucking… _amazing_." Adam trailed breathlessly.

"Maybe AJ isn't so bad." Phil said softly, falling down beside Adam and pulling him into his chest. "After all, you're kinda hot when you're all jealous and what not."

Adam inclined his head to Phil's throbbing erection. "You want that taken care of tonight?" Phil nodded, shifting to make himself a little more comfortable. "Then don't push it." And just like that, all was forgiven.


End file.
